Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The Story of a Perfectionist

Wow excellent result , Perfect ,10 out of 10 ... Kids check her notebook .. You are so Perfect my kid .. aww my baby ... Your result is so cool .. I'll ask your baba to purchase you a new doll as present .. You are my best child, a Perfect one .. Wow u r looking so pretty nice dress ... I adore your dressing always .. jus so Perfect in coloring and designs..

These lines I'm used to of listen since my birth and that's not the end, that's jus few from school/college/univ, home and friends ..

I was getting good results and it was like .. wow so nice awesome .. Perfect example for class, Perfect example for family .. Perfect student excellent projects/mid/assignments/ friends used to of getting a bit jealous of me with my Perfect grades and notes and above all my organized life and work. I admit I don't look so cool but I have everything a Perfect man have, a complete human body .. having two eyes, i can hear, speak, walk and work .. above all i can think.. I'm so Perfect..

At work I'm a Perfect Software Engineer, I often hear brilliant and excellent for my work.. At home, my brother and sisters.. my parents , they love me allot and i never heard a no from their side, we are so Perfect family .. I have everything my own, fully settled in my Perfect life. In my social life, my friends are so nice and Perfect, come to help me whenever i want them .. The guy I was with till few days back was so Perfect..

Seems to me have a Perfect life ... Touching The Limits of Perfection .. You are a Perfectionist Aisha...!!!

And now I'm coming up with a lame claim .. I'm not so Perfect damn.. Its better to say.. I'm so Imperfect..  'cause even i have something missing there and I'm not happy ...
Coming up in minds ~Drama or something~ 
No its not drama, I'm so Imperfect, Incomplete 'cause I'm lacking with Peace of Mind, I have no life.

Whenever I closed my eyes, it comes up with a mess .. a worst past... or for my tomorrow a hell ... 

I mentioned already I have no life and I have no today ...the Perfect life seems to have No Worth when you have no Peace around ... I don't have least idea why I sent on the earth, I don't feel any Purpose of that Perfect life .. But I heard everyone comes with some Objective and only straight path leads to that Objective.. The Si'rat-Al-Mustaqeem ..!! Am i searching for that path?

I'm so confused .. Suddenly i get upset and start crying, unable to sleep since long .. I'm getting nothing outta this life .. I want help, but Allah is not going to send any more prophets at least .. :!!! What is the way to Survive my so Perfect life, or is it The End???

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