Thursday, May 20, 2010

Funny Bytes

Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”

The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”

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Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Can I get you anything?”
“Yeah,” reply the bytes. “Make us a double.”
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Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.

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There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don’t.
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A programmer walks to the butcher shop and buys a kilo of meat. An hour later he comes back upset that the butcher shortchanged him by 24 grams.

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“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
very long pause….
“Java.”
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A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.”

The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.”

The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. Those people have been fighting for millenia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.”

The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.”

At which point the genie responds, “Um, let me see that map again.”

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Have you heard about the new Cray super computer? It’s so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.
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 Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”

The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu”

“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated.”

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